It’s 2 a.m. and I am in so much pain.

I woke up because every muscle in my body is on fire.

Existing hurts.

I did ten minutes of light yoga and walked 9k steps yesterday. The day before, I completed four exercises with 6lb weights or body weights.

This isn’t DOMS. This is an autoimmune flare.


Sunday, I felt great. Good enough to do some light exercise. I had no pain and decided to get back on the strength training wagon. On my best weeks, I can strength train once a week.

Because this happens every. Time.

I can walk fifteen miles, no problem, and tread water for days. But God Forbid I throw around a 6lb weight.

I just want to keep my body healthy. I want to move my body in ways that gently strengthen it. Is that so much to ask?

I don’t know if I’m doing more harm than good when my body aches in the stillness. I am clinging to stories from other people with my illness who claim that exercise makes them feel better, not worse. Perhaps this is just the initial shock.

Heat isn’t helping and neither is ibuprofen. I’m going to try a supplement (Betaine) that some friends with other autoimmune illnesses have mentioned help. Some limited studies seem to support the idea that I may hurt less with it, but I remain skeptical.

This is so frustrating. I just want to sleep.

I wonder how long I have until merely walking and swimming might do this to me, and then I both miss and better understand my mother.

Still fighting the good fight today. I’m tired.


  1. Elena Dosil says:

    I’m so sorry to be reading this 😦 I have exactly the same with exercise, plus migraines. My doctors tell me that I should exercise more, especially strength exercise, as I’m getting closer and closer to menopause. But I can’t, especially when it’s hot like it is now, because of migraines.

    I did some very light exercise last week, but I did it two days in a row, and then paid with excruciating pain for days.

    Something people don’t believe is that I get a lot of pain in my hand for days if I try to press an orange, which I never do now.

    Please, take it easy. I know it’s frustrating because you feel like a delicate flower when you wish to do things, you wish to live. I guess we have to take it in very small doses, because overdoing it is so so easy. Hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sarah Snow says:

    I suppose we can do our best and forget the rest—it’s too bad that it’s hard to forget the rest when it hurts. So much.

    Hugs for your migraines. We will keep going. I am exhausted today, but I am still upright!

    Liked by 1 person

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