I wish my grief didn’t look like anger, because she’s my companion whether I like it–reject her, welcome her, plan a party for her–or not.
How I (eventually) learned to leave relationships that weren’t right for me.
A dear friend of mine seems to think I am far more resilient than I actually am. Why? In my late twenties, I took a long, hard look around me, and ultimately walked away from people I loved.
Why was I able to look at people I loved, people who weren’t all bad (just bad for me), and decide enough was enough–and actually walk away?
Jogging Thoughts: What Could Have Been With Medicine
Sometimes I wonder what kind of teacher I could have been had I been properly medicated for my thyroid issue. I don’t think I would have exactly been Jaime Escalante, but still. I think I could have been a lot more fun… or perhaps a lot less secretly miserable.
Wild Life Sighting: Not A Dolphin, Nor Manatee…
…It doesn’t get much more “Florida” than this! It’s true what they say; if you don’t bother the alligators, the alligators don’t bother you. Still, it’s a bit unsettling how they disappear without a trace beneath the dark spring’s waters.
Memories #1 and #2: Finding Tiny Kitty a New Home (And Passing Checkpoint #3 in Duolingo)
After six beautiful weeks, we found tiny kitty a new home where there are no birdies to eat. And not just any home–this weekend, we drove Tiny Kitty across Florida to my dear friend Gracie, her thoughtful son, and her exceptional cat (Puck).
I couldn’t ask for a better home for him to grow and thrive. Sometimes, the hard way is the right way.
On Healthy Relationships: Maybe Love *Should* Be Conditional
When I was younger, the most romantic thought in my head was that someone could love me unconditionally, in spite of all my flaws and faults and myriad poor life choices–so I made that my goal in my endeavors. To be able to love people (friends, family, romantic partners) without conditions. That road? The road of absolute, unconditional, “I will do anything, put up with anything, sacrifice anything for you” kind of love? That road leads to unhealthy relationships.
Happy Surprise: I AM SUDDENLY OKAY TODAY (?!)
Two days ago, I wrote a frustrated blog post at like 4 a.m. about how absolutely terrible and awful I felt. It was nothing out of the ordinary, just a vent because that’s what happens every time I lift a delicate little weight. Sarah cast “CURE”! Today, I feel like the health fairy sprinkled magicContinue reading “Happy Surprise: I AM SUDDENLY OKAY TODAY (?!)”
It’s 2 a.m. and I am in so much pain.
I woke up because every muscle in my body is on fire. Existing hurts. I did ten minutes of light yoga and walked 9k steps yesterday. The day before, I completed four exercises with 6lb weights or body weights. This isn’t DOMS. This is an autoimmune flare. Again. Sunday, I felt great. Good enough toContinue reading “It’s 2 a.m. and I am in so much pain.”
Why Planning Ahead is Hard with an Autoimmune Condition
I realize today why I hate making plans: I never know how I will feel in the future. I never know if I will have to cancel, or if I will have grit my teeth and force myself through it in the name of being a good friend, a good daughter, a good ally, a good person.
Only to collapse after.
The Complexity of “How Are You?”
“How are you?”
I never can tell if the asker is serious and actually wants to know, or just stating a pre-defined, shallow pleasantry. I suppose that’s a #neurodiversity problem. As a woman with a glorious and vivid case of ADHD, I’ve overshared my whole life. How SHOULD someone respond to that question in 2022?
Kayaking Into the Sunset: Our Bioluminescence Tour in Titusville
There are only five places in the world where one can find bioluminescence like this, and Titusville is #1 — and only a forty-five minute drive away from our home. Off we went on our latest adventure!
My Memory List: An Exercise For Mental Health
My lovely friend Mindy does this fascinating thing where, at the start of a given year, she writes down all the memories she wants to create — and then blogs about them as she intentionally makes those memories, a loving time capsule of joy.
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a glorious exercise in positive mental health.